How the Shredder Stole Christmas
by Livi-Love
Summary: Some said the Shredder's heart was three sizes too small; others said he didn't have one at all. This poem will recite what happened that day; will he succeed or will the turtles get in his way?


**I don't own TMNT. Here's a Christmas poem. =D

* * *

**It was the night before Christmas, and all through the city

Christmas lights were hanging, making everywhere pretty

Shops were selling goods as fast as they ran out

While the frantic public did squabble and shout

Children screamed as they demanded costly toys

The girls fought over rare trading cards with the boys

Women battled each other for the freshest turkey

While the men demanded goods both curious and quirky

As the citizens seized all that New York had to give

In New York's sewers a family of mutants did live

The rat father, Master Splinter, was sorting out accommodation

For their dear friends that would come over on this special occasion

He wrote out with care all of the invites

As the smart turtle, Donatello, fixed the fairy lights

Raphael, the angry turtle, was out getting a Christmas tree

Scouring a nearby forest with his human friend Casey

The lively turtle, Michelangelo, was hanging up mistletoe

Putting it in all the places it could possibly go

As human friend April prepared dinner for the next day

Turtle leader Leonardo cleaned the lair without delay

While the lair was full of laughter and fun

All the Christmas festivities angered someone

A grumpy old utrom glared down from above

He was cold and lonely without any love

"Look at the humans acting so gay

All eagerly waiting for Christmas day

While I am alone in this tower so high

I hope they choke on their turkey and die"

The utrom, the Shredder, went into his room

So he could begin plotting planet Earth's doom

After an hour the Shredder clapped his hands

Having finally come up with an appropriate plan

"The turtles always ruin my schemes" he said with irritation

"Well… this year I will ruin their celebration"

He went to the store to prepare for his devilish act

And bought (for half price) a red Santa hat

"I will sneak into their hole at the dead of night

When it is pitch black with no source of light

I will take all their gifts from under their tree

And all their presents will belong to me!"

As the Shredder's plan began to unfold

The lair was full of guests out of the cold:

Angel came in with her arms full of bags

The homeless Professor entered, content in his rags

Leatherhead arrived next with Professor Honeycutt

Followed by the Ancient One, who was scratching his butt

Usagi greeted everyone with handshakes and bows

While his comrade Gen picked his nose and raised his eyebrows

Time Mistress Renet tripped over as she came through the door

And when she stood up, she fell over once more

Karai cautiously entered, having come on Leo's request

Still unsure whether this was for the best

After her, the lair was greeted by the Ninja Tribunal

The acolytes were next to make their arrival

The Ultimate Daimyo came in with his young son

Who went around hugging everyone

After the Justice Force made themselves comfortable

Splinter declared,"Come and drink, one and all"

The lair was soon full of jollity and glee

As old friends caught up and met ones they'd yet to see

As Mikey followed Leo and Karai with a sprig of mistletoe

Splinter caught sight of the time and wondered where it did go

"Come my dear friends; let us call it a night

We will open our presents when it becomes light"

"Can't we open them now?" Gennosuke cried out

Don covered his ears, "You don't need to shout"

The sounds of 'goodnights' were heard all around

Before they went to their beds without anymore sound

After a few hours footsteps did advance

And in came the Shredder, who was not there by chance

"Where are their presents? Where is their tree?"

He gazed around, but the darkness made it hard to see

He flicked on the lights and saw where the tree stood

And gathered up as many presents as he possibly could

He was nearly done when a voice from behind

Cried out, "Oh look what I found! Or is this a trick of the mind?"

While the Shredder recovered from his surprise

The Ultimate Ninja could not believe his eyes

"That red and white hat, that snowy white beard…

This is so amazing, if not slightly weird"

The young boy stared at him with his eyes wide

"Is Santa even real? I just cannot decide"

"Of course I am real," the Shredder declared

"But Casey and Gen told me you aren't" the small ninja said

"How can I tell that this isn't one of those stupid Earth Jokes?

How do I know that this isn't a hoax?"

"I stand in front of you with gifts, I'm not here to deceit

If I do not exist, then how can we meet?"

The Ultimate Ninja said, "This is true

But now we have decided on that, what shall I do?"

The Shredder pointed to the door and said with a snarl

"You can go sleep in your room; you shouldn't be up for a long while"

The little boy squeaked and ran to the guest room in fear

While the Shredder bagged all the presents when he was sure no one was near

He snuck out of the lair, dragging his sack

Before pausing nearby and stretching his back

"I must stay here to see their horror as it is dawning

As they wake up present-less on Christmas morning"

He sat on his sack and had a brief snooze

Resting himself so he'd be awake for the bad news

As it drew closer to the morning of Christmas day

A beautiful tune began to play

The Shredder sat up before looking around

Wondering what was the source of the sweet sound

He looked into the lair and then looked again

Not understanding with no one there to explain

All of his foes were holding hands in a circle

Mortal with immortal; human with turtle

They sang carols around the bare tree

The Shredder murmured, "If I had my way, they'd be dead already"

He started to leave when a thought entered his head

All their presents were gone, but it didn't look like they cared

Were presents required to enjoy Christmas Day?

Or was family enough to keep the sadness away?

Was Christmas about love instead of getting a new doll?

The Shredder shook his head and growled, "Don't be a fool"

He began to leave when he heard a voice from behind

He turned around and was dismayed at what he did find

The turtles, the humans, the small orange cat

The rabbit, the rhino, the elderly rat

They stood facing him, their faces filled with disgust

Watching the fake Santa with looks of distrust

"There is Santa!" the Ultimate Ninja told his dad

"I said he was real! See? I am not mad!"

"He cannot be Santa Claus" Angel told Casey

"I learned he wasn't real when I was three"

The Shredder said, "I am the one and only Santa Claus

The jolly old fellow everybody adores"

Mikey turned to Splinter, "You told me that he wasn't real

What other lies have you yet to reveal?"

Usagi shook his head at the turtle with a grin

Before gesturing towards the lair, "Would you like to come in?"

"I really must go," the Shredder started to go away

But he stopped in his tracks when he heard Raphael say

"See Leo? I told you Mikey's plan wouldn't work

Not even carols can melt the heart of that jerk"

The Shredder turned his head and was met with a fist

He stumbled backwards, and then Casey hissed

"Hey Shredder! You look good in red!"

Everyone laughed as the villain rubbed his head

He jumped to his feet and pulled off his beard

His scheme had failed, just as he had feared

Renet screamed "Oh my god it's the Shredder!"

April remarked, "Could her brain get any deader?"

Don furrowed his brow, "Is it me or do most things seem to rhyme?"

Mikey sighed, "You say that like, all the time"

The Shredder's eyes fell onto his daughter Karai

"Wait a second? You're with them? I don't understand. Why?"

Karai didn't answer at first, fiddling with her black locks

Before letting go of her hair and saying, "You only ever got me socks"

Raph growled, "Who cares? He stole our stuff! That's all we need to know"

"Yeah," Don said, getting out his wooden bo

"We will give you one more chance," the Fugitoid said

"Give us back our gifts, or prepare for a fight," replied Leatherhead

"You could even spend Christmas with us!" added the Daimyo

Everyone shook their head at him; Master Splinter even said "No"

The turtles leapt into the air and kicked the Shredder in the face

And the Ancient One slapped him, putting the utrom in his place

The Ninja Tribunal fired balls of energy at his chest

And the Ultimate Ninja kicked his shins (hey, he tried his best)

The Shredder dropped the presents before running away

Never to disturb them again on Christmas day

This tale is over but there's one thing left to do

…

…..

…

Please review! :D


End file.
